Hard to love you
by Aero-Lee
Summary: So..just a oneshot about Lily and James. They get in a fight and blah blah blah. Read the story it will make more sense.


-1Okay…Disclaimer: I don't own ANYTHING. Not the song, not the Harry Potter stories. Nada. Only the cookie I'm eating. Yumm chocolate chip. Well anyway on we goo.

This is just a oneshot to keep you all entertained until i post my next chapter for Letters. It might be a while though because the computer with all of those files on it currently has no internet : (. But i should have the next chapter up at least by next week.

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_Why do they make it hard to love you?  
Why can't they even start to try?  
'Cause now I feel a bridge is burning  
And all the smoke is in my eyes_

I walked out of transfiguration when I was stopped by Sirius Black. He pulled me into the empty classroom and closed the door.

"What do you want Black?" I asked him impatiently. I had a free period now and I wanted to get my potions essay finished.

"You know what I want," Sirius glared at me, "I want to know why you broke James' heart, Evans." Now I was really confused.

"What do you mean 'broke his heart'?" I asked him.

"You know that he really likes you. Why did you do that? You cant just say you like him and then five minutes later hate him. What the hell were you thinking?" He screamed at me.

"I wasn't," I choked out. I ran out of the classroom before he could see me cry. I ran all the way to the astronomy tower ignoring all the strange looks I was getting. When I got there it was, thankfully, empty. I could think here.

I realize I never let them know me  
I always wanted to be right  
Took a mistake to really show me  
Exactly what they were like 

I don't know why Sirius was yelling at me. Sure I told James I really liked him, and I wasn't lying. It was just, everything. Its so hard admitting to actually like someone you've sworn to hate your whole life. And I wanted so bad to be right about him. I've gotten it stuck in my head that James was a stuck up obnoxious git, that I never really knew him. But I know what he's like now. All because of a stupid mistake. I started yelling at him because he was sticking up for me. He told me he loved me. I got scared. I wasn't sure what I was feeling, or even that he was serious. I told him I hated him. And right there, in front of me, I saw him cry. Maybe it was only one tear that fell from his eyes, but it was enough to break my heart.

I've been wrong but I've been changing  
I've been wondering what to do  
Here I am alone and waiting  
For you 

Now what do I do? I asked myself. I could go down there and apologize. But I couldn't do that. I'm sure everyone hates me now. But I could be wrong. I've been wrong before, but theres always room for changing. I could tell him I do like him. That I was only mad and scared.

But now I'm alone up here. I chuckled to myself. Why am I here? I wonder what everyone would think if they knew I was up here waiting for James to come to me. To come to me and give me a second chance.

Why do I try and make them happy?  
Why am I always playing nice?  
It isn't easy trying to tell you  
Exactly what's on my mind 

I got up and started down the stairs. I slowly wandered the empty halls, wondering where everyone was. I enjoyed the silence though. It helps me think. How am I going to tell James what I feel? I could make everyone happy and ignore James like they want me to, but that would be what I always do. I'm always doing what they want. I'm going to go in there and-what? I stopped outside the portrait to the Heads Dorms. This isn't going to be easy. I said the password and walked in. James was sitting on the overstuffed armchair in the corner. He looked up when he saw me come in, then got up to leave.

"Wait James," I called. He turned around, "I have to tell you something." He walked towards me. I paused not sure how, or what, I was going to say.

"What, that you hate me? That you never want to talk to me again? Or is it that you find it funny to hurt someone, to break someone's heart? Because if that's it then I already know that," He said. I blinked back tears that were forming.

"No that's not it." I said.

"Then what is it Lily?" He asked me. I looked into his eyes and said.

"I'm sorry."

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